Tuesday, 19 April 2005

Hash Trash for Run No. 1291 - 15 April 2005

Hey there, ho there Hasher  ,

 It seems that nowadays one has to be highly knowledgeable to participate in hash activities. Sitting in the sun, on EU territory, enjoying a few beers and barbequed meat, we argued over whether man was a herbivore, carnivore, omnivore or cannibal. 

But that was once we had all managed to regroup after leaving the Al Jalaa parking lot in anything but convoy. It seemed everyone wanted to be the leader, but no-one knew where we were going. A feat only hashers can manage  . For future reference: lead car leads, the rest follows, it's not nuclear science, so everyone should be able to manage, even hashers. But for those who still need instructions about how this works, it's as follows:  

lead car remains in front as they know where we are going. Lead car drives at a reasonable pace so that people don't get left behind because of traffic lights, chickens crossing roads, or donkey dung. Last car remains last car, to monitor convoy progress. The rest remains in the middle, making note of who is in front of them and who is behind them   , and stays in that position. If the car in front is getting too far ahead, step on it, if the one behind is too far behind, slow down.

Last week's creative group driving effort was reflected in the hash walk as well. Once we had all gotten in the cars, started the engine and were ready to drive back, we suddenly discovered that two hashers were still out there in the hills somewhere  , and we had to wait another 3 hours for them to grace us with their presence.

Moral of the story:  hashing is a GROUP activity. Participation open to drinkers with a running problem, who are willing and able to partake in highly intelligent discussions - preferably in a foreign language - drive in convoy, sit in the trunk of the car if need be, and set a trail every now and then.

As for the down-downs, we had a few sinners who all but one (an honest Fuzzy Duck), protested their innocence  , but we knew better than to believe them and gave them their due punishment   . The Circle was merrily concluded with a birthday song for the hostess.

As for this week’s hash, we will meet & greet in the car park of the Al-Jalaa Hotel as of 12 pm, leaving promptly and in convoy at 12.30 to our hash site in Halboun. Rafi & Co. will be setting the trail for a change.

Don't forget to bring your BBQ meat, cutlery & plates.  Make sure to leave your sense of humour at home.

On-On,

Salwa.

http://www.damascush3.com/

http://www.gthhh.com/

Punctually  

By Ogunu

Damascus Hash No. 36,218.25

We left Al Jalah at 12:43 punctually, sharp, on the dot, in colonne. Colonne stretched over 10 to 20 kilometers. Or more. Not less, I think. Can't be sure, I was somewhere in the middle, having to decide whether to speed up and catch up with the front runners or slow down to give the slower ones a chance. So when we, or some of us, arrived at the hash site, awaited by the glimmer twins our beloved hares for the day, we first set off, under leadership of Shariff and his mobile phone, to send directions to those who had been left behind in the race. This is becoming a common feature of the hash, hi-tech overtaking us. Down-down. This high-tech stuff with mobile phone communication is not for the hash where we're supposed to eat with our hands, scratch our but when necessary, use smoke signals for communication and smash rocks together to make fire, using prehistoric language only, with shouts like as onon and aryu, tsekin, lookin, weresdebeer, ughmakemissionstatement, and the like. Diamonds in the rough. 

Everybody has to follow the hash rules, of course, and it makes it all the more interesting that nobody knows exactly what the rules are. Except the hares. Because they invent them on the spot. Does a cross mean that you have to go back and look for another trail somewhere or that you can go straight ahead singing happily tweedledeedum and find lots of paint 100 meters ahead? 

Suspicions arose that the brother hares might have had some disagreement and laid their two separate trails. 'No, not this way.' 'Why not, this is the best way.' 'Okay, do what you want, I'll go this way.' Just guessing, but it would explain some of the more interesting features of the trail. 

Don't be surprised if sometime halfway the run Shariff announces 'they have arrived'. Who? Well, of course the latecomers, who had lost the car race on the highway. It means he can now switch off his mobile. Down-down. 

I missed the circle. Hope Hash-Mamma will add some words about what happened there. 

This weeks tip from the Professor: 

You are supposed to shout 'on-on', or 'on-paint', only when you can actually see paint within a circle of some 10 meters around you (don't need to have your foot in it). If you just shout 'on-on' because you hear somebody else shout 'on-on' somewhere in the distance, there will soon be 'on-on' shouting all over the place and nobody will know where the trail really is. Shouting 'on-on' when not on paint can attract serious penalty such as down-down or worse (coke in your hair, or mud-bath). Except when you're a hare of course, then you can do anything you like if you wish to mislead the crowd.