Run 1295 Hash Notes

Although last week’s hash took place on an ominous Friday the 13th, nothing spectacular or out of the ordinary happened. We had the usual convoy ‘situation’. As the drive to our hash site progressed, some 20+ hashing vehicles began splitting up, into smaller and smaller groups, each having to find its own way to the site.

On arrival, our hares Caterpillar, a.k.a. “Antoine” (not Arthur!!), and Front Running Bastard, a.k.a. “Ayman”, were there to greet us. The walking trail took an hour and a half, with a steep climb halfway up the mountain. The runners were gone for two hours, which was considered by some of them to be “too short”.

After the walk/run, we gathered round for the ritual down-downs. This time there were two christenings.

The first was for Michele, hitherto to be referred to as “Miss Coordination”.

The second christening is more controversial. Omar Sharif was given the great honour of christening huge blocks of ice (30cm x 150cm x 30cm) by sitting on one of them for 10 minutes. Such blocks of ice shall henceforth be used on each hash, as a form of cruel, inhuman, and degrading punishment for any hasher caught in the act of chatting, giggling, whispering, or otherwise enjoying themselves, instead of paying their full respects and attention to the grand words of the Religious Advisor, during the Blessed Circle of Friendly Friends.

Caught in the act, the hasher - young or old, male or female, hailing from any ethnic background - will unceremoniously be janked by their hair and forced to sit on a block of ice for some minutes, or until their butt (or other bodily parts) freezes off

Although this form of punishment is forbidden under the laws of civilized, democratic societies, some Damascene hashers apparently deem themselves above such laws, and simply make their own, without referendum, or prior consultation with the prospective victims, and safe in the knowledge that they themselves will not be subjected to this form of torture.

Despite these developments, everyone had a whale of a time and Ogunu was once again moved to write about the events of day, see below.

No directions available yet, so meet and greet at the car park of the Al-Jalaa Hotel as of 12 pm, leaving in convoy exactly at 12.30 pm.

After the hash, we will travel to Ogunu Land for the down-downs, where Mrs Ogunu will serve exotic, home-made salads for the BBQ.

My muscles are hurting today which reminds me about the hash last Friday.

It is wrong to write hash lines 2 days after the hash when much has been forgotten. All the silly things that people did, the dreadful things that happened to them, and the punishments that were dashed out to correct for all that. I vaguely remember that there were different types of beer and we sort of got in a cheerful mood very quickly. But that must have been after the run I suppose.

Now that I sit here and think I remember that there was ice and people were made to sit on it. The new RA is very strict, no misbehavior was tolerated. The sinners were dragged by their hairs and deposited on the ice and strong man Rafi made sure they stayed there.

There are memories of strong winds, dashing through snow, and later splashing through a river, and blisters on somebody’s feet. Must have been great fun.

Somebody told this joke about ‘you can with Nissan’ (rhymes) and ‘you can’t with Trabant’, and finally ‘it’s harder with a Lada’. I thought not everyone had heard it so it’s worth repeating here.