Run 1389 (or 11 minutes to two)
A chilly but sunny day and a well-attended hash, with more than 20 runners and walkers. For a change, we were out in the Syrian equivalent of Holland (i.e. flat, where anything larger than an ant hill is considered to be a mountain) for a runners' hash. The hares (well, Martin, since Ryan denied all responsibility) tried to beat last week's record for false trails. Unfortunately they failed (well, fortunately for the runners who had to check them out!) but it meant they ran out of paint well before the on in. Martin was reduced to performing the role of a lollipop man (for those of you not educated in the UK this is a guy who helps school kids to cross the road, wearing a white coat (or "straitjacket") and holding a sign like a giant lollipop, no doubt to tempt the kiddies into his lair....but I digress) to point the way home for the directionally challenged runners.
The main hazard (apart from the guys driving past on tractors with huge shotguns - no they weren't just pleased to see us) was crossing under the electricity transmission cables, which made a strange sound, as did most of the runners by the time they got back from another 4 mile run. For a change, the runners got back before the walkers and did their best to finish the beers before they arrived.
At the circle, the assembled crowd was desolate to hear that White trashed had not been able to research his usual treasure trove of useful anniversaries. The best he could scrape up was Bill's son's birthday (for which Bill got a down down) and the Queen of Holland's birthday. She didn't show up either so Guido took the punishment in her place. The hares got double down downs for "crimes too numerous and heinous to mention". No virgins today but returners Shirley, Cliff, Assad & June were duly lubricated. Guido got a further down down for pretending to fall over in order to slow down on the long flat parts (i.e. all of it) - this is not a football match you know! Rafi for "not checking out" - it says here. Must have been at the Roach Motel (that's one for the Americans amongst us). Paul got a down down because he always gets one, and for Hubris - i.e. complaining constantly that he could do a better job than the hares and offering to set up a hares training school. Norm & Ryan were back in the circle for High Tech Hashing - bringing nuclear powered GPS wristwatches that monitor speed, distance, height, heart rate and life expectancy, all linked to the Pentagon. Perhaps this was actually a form of electronic tagging, and they are former "guests of the government" who have been let out for "care in the community" - that would explain the running? Rafi & Guido (again - trying to get a proper excuse for falling over perhaps?) were punished for ignoring a hold check. Kayleigh was nominated for making her mum carry her surplus clothes on the walk but threatened to bite the GM's ankles, so mum took the punishment as well - blame the parents I say!
There were various announcements. WTB and Bill were nominated to the Mismanagement and a request was put out for other "volunteers", especially for Hash Haberdasher to organise T Shirts, etc. Run 1400 will be on 20th April, celebrated by a weekend away - please let Arthur know if you are going. We are hoping to host the Levantine Hash (31st August to 2 September) and need opinions and volunteers to help organise it - again to Arthur.
On on
WTB
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